The House Of Odd

Today’s quote of the day comes thanks to Digg contributor MetalXSlug who left a nugget of wisdom in the comments section for Why Does Popcorn Cost So Much at the Movies?

“If God had intended man to pay movie theater prices for food he would not have invented cargo pants.”

Good news, the Rudy Giuliani Countdown to Victory Calendars are now only one dollar at your neighborhood Borders.   Its not too late for you to show your stubborn refusal to give up on a dream.   Of course if you wait another two weeks you might get an additional 50% off.

You usually when someone forwards you an email joke it’s usually not funny. It’s usually plagued with cutesy pictures of cats and dogs, inspirational mumbo jumbo, or corny chain emails begging you to bother others by forwarding it on.

But for whatever reason this one was very amusing to me. So much so I’ve decided to repost part of it here. The author is unknown and my sincerest apologies go out to anyone in the following photos. Behold the Best of Olan Mills Portraits with commentary.

I wanted a shot like this for my wedding but she said no.

It’s called a leisure suit, ladies and germs, and if you didn’t have one in the early 70s, you were a big fat loser. Mine was teal. I wore it with a silk floral shirt and a long necklace with a football player pendant that we all got at that year’s team banquet. I was ‘the man’.

Once they had two or there how did they find time to make more?

Olan Mills backdrop #4: Bucolic Meadow with Split Rail Fence. Is that an animal carcass behind her?

A pose like this will get you kicked right out of the convention.

What better way to capture the charm and innocence of a child than to plunk him down amid the coarse trappings of a life lived in pursuit of wealth — oversized bills, an adding machine and the Wall Street Journal — and make him sit inside a briefcase? (They probably just fold up the little demon right in there to carry him home.) The finishing touch is the globe, which completes the portrait of the young Antichrist in Chess King vest and Red Goose loafers, plotting his takeover of the world (insert maniacal laugh). That is, as soon as someone changes his poopy diaper.

Bobbi isn’t the first waitress to fall for her manager, but she and Dale both got fired from Shoney’s.

Dawn and her recently exhumed sister, Gorgotha, pose with Scraps.

This photo isn’t discolored. The 70s really were that Orange.

And don’t miss the First Presbyterian Players as they perform Godspell next Wednesday night in the Fellowship Hall. Childcare will be provided. Please bring a covered dish.

Kenneth and his prom date.

You’d think Pearle Vision would throw in another two pairs for free.

Olan Mills Backdrop #11: The Library, one of their most popular themes, as seen in this photo of the young Unibomber and his wife.

So it is just another dreary winter day and I’ve only got some left
over frozen pizza for lunch. Dreadful. I needed a side dish for this stellar
meal. Where else could I go besides the vending machine?

There wasn’t much to choose and I’ve been on a Baked Lays Potato Chips
kick lately. They are not nearly as tasty as their deep fried
brethren but sometimes you just have to mix things up to add a little
spice to life.

The row with chips sat high on the top of the snack shelves. After
inserting the exact change and pressing ‘A1′ into the keypad my semi
edible treat was released from its corkscrew prison.

As it fell on its way to freedom it landed on a shiny foiled package.

The impact dislodged the unknown item and it fell into the receiving
bin along with my chips.

It was the last one of its kind so it was a mystery as to what the
vending gods had bestowed upon me.

As I reached in and pulled out two items, I realized my ‘bonus’ item
was cookies.

Now they were just vanilla wafers but you can’t be upset when cookies
just fall into your lap.

I quickly left the break room now paranoid that by some freak chance
the vending machine service guy would appear and he would know by
looking at my guilty face that I had acquired two snacks for the price
of one.

Go green doesn’t have to be boring. The Movie Kids have concocted a fun method to recycle all those aluminum cans. They call it Can Bowling with Bike.

That tubby kid from Stand By Me grew up to make a mighty funny parody of the latest wackiness from Tom Cruise. Jerry O’Connell discusses being an actor and does a mighty spot on impersonation of the number two ranking Scientologist Cruise.

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Craig Ferguson of the Late Late Show also did an amusing take on the Tom Cruise video the other night.

There has been a term that has been thrown around the Internet a lot of late. The term I refer to is ‘bat-shit crazy’. It seems to be used a lot to describe a few of the rouge Republican presidential candidates, namely Ron Paul.

Just how crazy is ‘bat-shit crazy’? The Urban Dictionary defines it as “One step beyond just plain crazy” and “Acting in a generally insane manner”. But why ‘bat-shit’?

Real bat shit, or guano as the Spanish prefer to say, is really quite stable. Once excreted by the bat this dull fecal matter just stays plastered to a cave wall or left to pile up on the ground. Most would say that is far from crazy. It’s doubtful anyone would consider this nitrate-laden poop as even eccentric.

When one wishes to describe someone as being crazy beyond what is consider just plain old insane you really should use something that truly is nuts. Perhaps ‘Scientology-crazy’, or ‘Tyra Banks crazy’ would be better suited to describe a loon that goes takes crazy to ‘eleven’.

So it is the start of a new year and most people are back to work.
Today some kind individual brought in a lovely store bought cake and
dumped it in the break room.

The unwritten law of food in the corporate world is if you leave it
out in a common area it is fair game for every one. If you don’t want
it to disappear stick it in the fridge with your name on it.

The problem is on the table sits over half a potentially edible cake
and there is no silverware to be found. The horror. Not one fork,
knife, or plate in the entire break room. Not even the useless
plastic ones common to the office environs.

I suppose if one were desperate enough they could tear off a chunk with
their bare hands and attempt a quick getaway before any coworker were
to catch them in this food handling faux pas.

The lesson for today is always keep a spare set of utensils at your
desk just in case food appears out of nowhere.

Well we’re in the final few days of 2007 and what is the end of the year without a slew of craptastic lists. Here a brief list of some of the best song parodies from the past year.

4. Ding Fries Are Done Family Guy / Trans Siberian Orchestra Remix
Some dude going by the name Total Music DJ creates a fresh version of the internet classic Ding Fries Are Done by combining the Family Guy parody and Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s version of Carol of the Bells.

3. Tre’ Cool Chocolate Rain
Green Day’s Tre Cool creates a palatable version of Tay Zondya’s internet juggernaut Chocolate Rain. Tre appears to be ad-libbing the lyrics as he goes. The end result is simply splendid, some would say more inspiring than the original.

2. Sad Kermit Hurt
Originally written by Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails, Sad Kermit creates a funny and disturbing version of Hurt in the style of Johnny Cash’s 2002 cover. The video depicts Kermit’s downward spiral into drugs and despair after the loss of his BFF Jim Henson.

1. Alanis Morrisette My Humps
Far superior than the Black Eyed Peas original version, Alanis Morrisette creates a hauntingly beautiful renditition of My Humps.

It’s been about a month since acquiring an iPhone. For the most part it’s been a splendid little device. It’s allowed the opening of a new a trail blazing section here at the House called Thoughts From the Throne.

There are the usual annoyances, AT&T’s Edge Network is rather slow, and the ‘keyboard’ is a bit tiny for grown-up sized fingers.

The one thing that has been the most annoying is randomly disappearing emails when using Yahoo email. It seems to occasionally just loose an email. Once you press Send it just goes “Poof”.

It doesn’t end up in the Draft of Sent folder, it’s just gone. Which can be extremely frustrating especially after laboring over the miniature keys to eek out an important message to your loved one.

A little investigation revealed that this is a known issue by both Apple and Yahoo. Others report loosing emails as well. Some have issues with the IMAP push email not pushing like its ‘pose to and requiring a manual check to retrieve messages. Some experience emails disappearing once they have been moved to a folder. It just ain’t right.

To date there seems to be no word from either Apple or Yahoo when this issue will be resolved.

Some of the suggested workaround include:

-Using the forward feature of Yahoo email to forward to another POP account or Gmail.

-Upgrading to Yahoo’s Premium service and using the POP setting to retrieve email.