The House Of Odd

In this politically correct environment the original use of the word ‘retard’ is no longer socially acceptable. It has been replaced by more sensitive terms like ‘developmentally challenged’ or ‘learning disabled’. Thanks to the internet, ‘retard’ has seen a rebirth as a powerful blow to the misinformed and the stupid.

This has spawned a memetic growth in creative new derivatives of ‘retard’. Here are the current top 10 evolutions.

10. ‘tard ( or tard) - Simply dropping the ‘re’ from the ‘tard’ punches up the term allowing for a quick yet forceful blow to the dimwitted forum troll.

“I stopped going to that blog after a bunch of ‘tards jacked it all up.”

9. geetard - the specialized term primarily used in emo circles has several meanings, ‘gee’ refers to the lead singer of the band My Chemical Romance, Gerard Way. The two most common uses of ‘geetard’ are 1) as a derogatory term to refer to Gerard 2) a term for extreme fans of Gerard Way and My Chemical Romance.

“When I was at Hot Topic yesterday this geetard snapped up the last My Chemical Romance air freshener before I could get there.”

8. R tard - Origins appear to trace back to the Comedy Central show South Park, remove the ‘e’ and pronounce the ‘R’ to smite the obtuse with an nod to pop culture.

“He is such an R tard, he thinks Second Life is better than WOW.”

7. etard - Adding ‘e’, as in ‘ecstasy’, with ‘tard’ creates a clever term for one who has lost their mental faculties from the abuse of ecstasy.

“No way, I’m not going to that club. I don’t want any of those creepy little etards touchin’ me.”

6. fantard – refer to those pesky fan boys with this gem and you’ll be sure to win any argument.

“Dude, you built your own light saber? I don’t think I can be seen in public with a fantard like you.”

5. Wiitard - one who lacks the motor skills to competently control the remote of the Nintendo Wii game console. Alternatively used to refer to someone displaying an unnatural loyalty to the Nintendo corporation and all it’s game platforms.

“Seamus is such a Wiitard, he clocked his mom in the head last night playing Smooth Moves.”

4. hotard - Combine ‘whore’ with ‘retard’ and you get ‘hotard’. Use this next time you encounter a slow witted prostitute who needs to be taken down a notch.

“That’s the last time I go to that hotard, she doesn’t even know that margarine isn’t butter.”

3. iTard - one who blindly purchases any new product from Apple is an ‘itard’. Alternatively ‘itard’ can be used to describe a clueless individual who constantly walks around wearing earphones attached to an iPod.

“I couldn’t help but chuckle the other day when I watched this itard walk right into a wall.”

2. frigtard – thanks to Fake Steve Jobs, presumably a combination of ‘friggin’ and ‘retard’, ‘frigtard’ is one of the fastest growing insults on the web.

“If that frigtard doesn’t pull over soon and let me pass I’m going to run him off the road.”

1. f*cktard – a stronger version of ‘frigtard’, this condensed version of ‘f*cking’ and ‘retard’ can be pulled out of your arsenal when maximum impact is needed.

“I’m asking you for the last time f*cktard, where is my money?”